Returne from Oblivion.

Hello there my lovely reader.

So here is my next entry, I must admit these blogs are coming slow and sluggish but I am finding it hard to fit everything in plus running around after my crawling soon to be walking child its crazy she is like a little ant scurrying around getting into everything (trying to eat everything)

So where have we walked and what thoughts have we wondered around with since last time?

Well lets see, time just escapes me like a blur it has actually taken me a week to write this much, I have a friend who is just finishing up her masters and has a beautiful little girl, and I have no idea how she is doing it, but she is its amazing. Between LM and my Bonnie Nell creations (my arty crafty) my brain is left completely full sometimes I can’t find enough room for a vocabulary.

My walking helps especially those sunny days were I can walk for an hour or so while LM is snoozing and I sip on a latte soaking in that lovely blue winter sky. Below is a picture of what we are lucky to walk under sometimes I guess its these grey overcast days that make us love the winter sun more than the dreaded summer sun (as you might be aware from my thesis blog I don't do heat well at all).

So what have I seen on my walks? Well to be honest I have seen a lot of frozen moments of change. What I mean by that is that I have seen a block of land flattened and cleared of the house that once occupied that particular space and only a scrap of pavement left in the now extinct drive way. The ground looks scarred and raw like the flesh appears under the newly formed scab. It looks tired, worn and naked, littered with small scraps of rubbish that the weather will eventually dispose of. The ghost of the old house is still present but the air around it longs for something new.

I wonder why the house was demolished or what was wrong with it if anything. Houses around my area were built in the 1960's, new and flash for that time, but now tired and old. Renovations upon renovations pile up on the structure of the building - the appearance of "value"- so there is only a vague glimmer of the original design and architecture

This gap in land? property? time? or life? It is a strange scene to behold, like the times when you "clean" out your life. The scab from the events leading up to this adjustment is raw and weeping. But the knowledge of time fading and healing the wound makes the individual eager to pull the blistered skin away before its ready. Rebuilding is tricky. (Also council permits are a pain in the ass to get approved ;))  

I guess over the last 12 months I have been trying to rebuild myself from the oblivion of childbirth and the shock of motherhood. Regaining my identify changing the ideas and notions of who I am, what I want to do, and what life means to me now as apposed to what I thought they were before LM entered my life. 

In thinking on this and looking at the image of this empty block I feel I am much further along the rebuild than this site. But I have a long way to go, but at least the groundwork is done, the concrete is poured and the building frame up.

Now? For the next stage. 

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I will blog again soon xoxox