Hello there my lovely reader.
So here is my next entry, I must admit these blogs are coming slow
and sluggish but I am finding it hard to fit everything in plus running around
after my crawling soon to be walking child its crazy she is like a little ant
scurrying around getting into everything (trying to eat everything)
So where have we walked and what thoughts have we wondered around
with since last time?
Well lets see, time just escapes me like a blur it has actually
taken me a week to write this much, I have a friend who is just finishing up
her masters and has a beautiful little girl, and I have no idea how she is
doing it, but she is its amazing. Between LM and my Bonnie Nell creations (my
arty crafty) my brain is left completely full sometimes I can’t find enough
room for a vocabulary.
My walking helps especially those sunny days were I can walk for an
hour or so while LM is snoozing and I sip on a latte soaking in that lovely
blue winter sky. Below is a picture of what we are lucky to walk under
sometimes I guess its these grey overcast days that make us love the winter sun
more than the dreaded summer sun (as you might be aware from my thesis blog I
don't do heat well at all).
So what have I seen on my walks? Well to be honest I have seen a lot
of frozen moments of change. What I mean by that is that I have seen a block of
land flattened and cleared of the house that once occupied that particular
space and only a scrap of pavement left in the now extinct drive way. The
ground looks scarred and raw like the flesh appears under the newly formed
scab. It looks tired, worn and naked, littered with small scraps of rubbish
that the weather will eventually dispose of. The ghost of the old house is
still present but the air around it longs for something new.
I wonder why the house was demolished or what was wrong with it if
anything. Houses around my area were built in the 1960's, new and flash for
that time, but now tired and old. Renovations upon renovations pile up on the
structure of the building - the appearance of "value"- so there is only
a vague glimmer of the original design and architecture
This gap in land? property? time? or life? It is a strange scene to
behold, like the times when you "clean" out your life. The scab from
the events leading up to this adjustment is raw and weeping. But the knowledge
of time fading and healing the wound makes the individual eager to pull the
blistered skin away before its ready. Rebuilding is tricky. (Also council
permits are a pain in the ass to get approved ;))
I guess over the last 12 months I have been trying to rebuild myself
from the oblivion of childbirth and the shock of motherhood. Regaining my
identify changing the ideas and notions of who I am, what I want to do, and
what life means to me now as apposed to what I thought they were before LM
entered my life.
In thinking on this and looking at the image of this empty block I
feel I am much further along the rebuild than this site. But I have a long way
to go, but at least the groundwork is done, the concrete is poured and the
building frame up.
Now? For the next stage.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I will blog again soon
xoxox
